Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Hi, I'm an Idiot!
CNN reports that a high school student in Odessa Texas drank an unknown chemical from the chemistry lab on a dare. He was found in a school hallway bleeding from the nose and mouth and his throat was closed. Apparently his asshole friends ditched him after handing him the unknown beaker of death. He is now recovering in the hospital. Too bad Billy. Maybe you can make those Darwin awards next year when you swallow 50 9 volt batteries and a litre of bleach.
Natural Selection Foiled Again!
Evolution was halted from removing more fundies today as a german couple married for nine years was told the reason they have no children is because they don't have sexual relations. It seems the couple went to a fertility clinic to find out why they could not get pregnant. The clinic eventually found that the couple grew up with strict fundamentalist parents and had no notion of sex. The story is being covered by morons.org and is almost certainly false, though still funny for those of us who have lived in a fundamentalist family.
Anesthesia error left surgery patient alert
The feeling of helplessness is a terrifying thing for anyone, and this is a classic nightmare. Carol Weihrer was still conscious while doctors removed her eye. She felt no pain, but could feel the pressure from the gouging and pulling, and could see the surgery taking place. She said the worse part was not being able to move. "It's like being entombed." "Maybe you did die ... and maybe you're in hell." She now suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and cannot lie down as it triggers feelings of helplessness.
Women, Stop Doing This to Yourself!
I've fallen, and I can't get up! Seriously, there is no need to have breast implants this large. She is obviously in great shape, then goes out and turns herself into a freak show that will have health problems and trouble performing everyday tasks. Unfortunately, this is not the worst example. I have seen breasts twice this large. It gets to the point where they are not even recognizable as breasts anymore. It's ridiculous. This is your body.
Swarm of Space Robots Protect Earth
SpaceWorks Engineering, Inc. (SEI), has completed initial research into Modular Asteroid Deflection Mission Ejector Node (MADMEN) spacecraft thanks to a grant from the NASA Institute for Advanced Concepts (NIAC). The design calls for several ships (up to a thousand) to be sent toward a near-Earth object (NEO), each robot drilling into the object and throwing the pieces into space, thus pushing the object slowly off course. All I have to say is Damn, scientists like acronyms.
Democratic operatives form group to stop Nader
John Kerry met with Ralph Nader after Nadar complained that he was being ignored by Kerry. Meanwhile another Democratic organization announced it would run ads against Nader in key states. I wish we could get out of this party system mess. Unfortunately a vote for another party is like a vote for Bushy. I would like to see each candidate fill out a form listing their stance on all current issues and this form mailed to all voters. We can then have debates on why they feel their stance is correct, and the voters can choose the candidate that best represents them. While we are at it, lets get rid of the electoral college, and corporate donations to our leaders. People should decide who they want to fund, not the corporation they work for. Why do we want corporations to have senators in their pocket?
Raising a Terrorist; It takes a village
My high school alma mater is shut down today. Yesterday there was a bomb threat and two lists of people to be killed as well as a report to a newspaper that there would be violence today. This town will probably be the next littleton.
I'm sure many of you have heard of the abusive parents who named their child "version 2.0". Well here is some humour for you from John Zakour's Geek Toons:
Current Music: Disturbed, Garbage, Soundtrack to Braveheart
Current Food: Soy burger, black and green tea, orange juice
Posted at 05:28 pm by elvenSarah
Monday, May 17, 2004
Orgasm Inducing Chocolate
How fat are americans going to get on this stuff? Check out this
slightly bizarre story on the "Orgasmic chocolate" that could be released in the next five years. "They will contain higher than normal levels of the chemical phenyl ethylamine, which the body releases during sex" I have no idea what they are trying to say about the robotic prostitutes, but I am sure they saw it in an anime.
"America is the best durned nation in the world!"
Now I won't deny that america is a much better place to live than many of the other choices, but the best country in the world? Let's see what makes america so great.
1. We have the highest life expectancy
Nope. It is actually number 48!
2. We have the most internet users per capita
Nope. We are number 7.
3. We have the lowest crime rate
nope. We are 23rd for the number of murders per capita.
4. We have the highest number of democratically minded citizens
Nope. We are number 63 on election turnout.
5. We are the best educated
nope. We are 18th in math and 68th on literacy.
6. We are the most generous
nope. We are 20th on donated aid per capita.
7. Yet we do have the highest gross national income (second GDP)
8. We have the lowest unemployment rate
nope we are 52nd.
So you see, America really isn't best at everything. Don't even get me started on america having the most equality and freedom from the government. I think countries with female presidents and gay marriage would disagree.
Six Degrees of Separation
As an aside, I have been wondering if you could connect any two reasonably linked blogs within 6 jumps. Google may have some interesting statistics on that.
Current Music: Godsmack: Bad Religion, and Oliver Shanti
Posted at 06:11 pm by elvenSarah
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Doing it Missionary Style
Back in the day I was a missionary for christ on campus. I would go around asking people if they knew jesus. "He is a great guy! Jesus is inside me right now. He fills me up and makes me feel so gooood. Now I feel the holy spirit in me! Oh, he is moving! Oh God, right there! YES! YES! YES!"
Well anyway, I visited my friends from that era this past weekend. Overall it was a great time. Many of the people in the group are nerds so we talked about nerdy stuff. I did have to hold back a few times when they began discussing how evil gays are and other great christian topics. The only thing bad about the trip is that it cost a bit more than I was hoping. A couple friends told me I could stay with them, but when I got to their place and knocked on the door they didn't answer and the lights were off, so I had to get a hotel around midnight. I fell asleep around 2 then got up at 6 so I could make it to the graduation in time. After graduation they wanted to know why I didn't show, so I guess they were in a back room or something and didn't hear me.
I rechecked my surgery appointment and found out it is not this monday, but next monday! Another week before I get my teeth out. Guess I should try to get some work done during this week now.
I have been thinking how sloppy I have been with my identity lately. I used to be very uptight about anyone finding my identity and knowing I was no longer a christian, but lately I have just been posting everything all over the internet and giving more than enough information for anyone to figure it out. Subconsciously
I think I am trying to get people to find out so I don't have to be undercover anymore. Sometimes I just want to scream and tell people what I know. It has been two years this summer, yet I still play the game, still nod and act like I agree with the stupidity, the hate, the harm being done to people I love.
Don't Breath the Dirt!
My area was recently ranked as having some of the worst air quality in the nation. This made me happy to read a new report confirming the link between particles in the air and genetic damage that is passed to offspring. See, pollution is not bad! I've always wanted a green swamp monster child with its legs protruding from its stomach and its lungs outside its body. Genetic Damage is good! Really! Who needs to see in color anyway? And that hair growing from your eyeballs, I've always wanted that!
I had decided not to watch the Nicholas Berg video. I didn't need more of that kind of thing in my head. After I made this decision I read about some odd things appearing in the video that made people wonder of its origin. (red jumpsuit, previous american custody, etc) The curiosity got the best of me and I watched it. As expected, it is not pretty. I felt in a daze for a while after watching it.
***Graphic Description ***
The man behind him reads several pages in arabic (I assume), then takes out a large knife and throws Berg to the floor. We hear Berg scream, Oh God No! then hear gurgling noises and muffled screams as they cut off his head. They are all chanting what sounds like Allah. The head is held up, then they place it on his back with a closeup showing the head, neck, and floor with blood.
***End Graphic Description ***
It is terrible that it has come to this. Is there any end in sight? Anyone with the wisdom to change the world, and make this kind of thing stop?
The problem, Doctor, is that I do not exist
It would not be kind to leave all of you depressed from that last segment, so how about I get you thinking about the existence of nothingness instead? I found this website while searching for information on nihilism. It is basic, but interesting material. "In reality, there is not time, only change"
Damn you sock pirates!
I have an odd number of socks, and I am fairly certain I purchased an even number. Would who(m)ever took my sock(s) please return them or let me know what is being done with them?
step 1: Steal socks
step 2: ????
step 3: profit!
Not only do I need a new car, but I need a new cell phone. The cell phone looks like it will be first. My current cell runs on coal power, which is better than my first cell, which was a baby pigeon in a little cage. I'm planning to get the LG G4011, a cheap, but at least modern phone. That means I'm selling my old one! I'm not making any guaranties here, but my old cell phone may have been used to get me off, and my have been in my naughty places and further more, probably has Sarah DNA on it! I'll start the bidding at a low $40k.
Posted at 11:46 pm by elvenSarah
Friday, May 14, 2004
I stopped posting in my favorite forum on Sunday. I needed to focus my attention on my goals. They have been slipping away for too long. So what have I done on my websites since then? Not much. There are always distractions aren't there. This past week I have been busy at work. (Which is good for the check book, even though I don't get paid enough for what I do) When I get back from work I am tired, stressed, and have no desire to work on anything. My perfectionist side kicks in and says "You're too tired to do a good job. Better surf the web instead". My lazy side likes the idea. (Those are my two sides) I started off reading Dasien, then started exploring links from there. Now I'm typing this from two hours out in cyberspace and no idea how I got here.
Are humans ever satisfied? We want what we don't have, and want to do what we aren't doing. That is another big part of my laziness. I know I need to get the sites done, so I instead feel like doing other things. If I, for some reason, was forced to do those other things, I would be slacking off by creating sites. It is like the Simpsons episode (All things in life have an analogy in the simpsons) where bart is trying to study for history, but keeps slacking off and reading his math book. When I have math problems to do, my room usually gets cleaned first.
I'm leaving for northen cali friday after work. I wanted to be there early, but I have to reset some servers after everyone goes home. A friend of mine is graduating saturday and I haven't seen her in a year and a half. Should be lots of other people there that weekend who I haven't seen in a while.
Monday I have the last of my oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth, so I will be out a couple days after that.
This just in: Dave Chappelle's first season a big crapcake.
The first season of Chappelle's show is not funny. I just watched the entire first season because everyone and their dog is talking about it. There were a couple funny skits, but for the most part it was mediocre. During most of the episodes I kept thinking, "I'm funnier than this show. Why am I watching this?" I plan to get the "I'm Rick James Bitch" episode and see if the show has gotten better. Maybe the show is an hour now or something I don't know. Whatever the case, if it hasn't improved drastically, I am writing it off as a loss. I'll stick to South Park and Family Guy.
Now That's Irony!
A book about censorship has been banned from a school district.
It seems the book mentioned breasts, which we all know are evil. We can't allow our teens to know basic anatomy.
Brandon Jerome, 15, holds up the book he got banned. Later that day his mom explains to him how the storks know how to deliver the babies to the correct families. Tomorrow the duo plans to get "The Velveteen Rabbit" banned. "Clearly this book [Velveteen] promotes a promiscuous lifestyle. We all know that rabbits are created from a sexual relationship. Rabbits are known to do the evil deed and procreate very often. Why else would they be the symbol of the satanic society known as playboy, as well as the symbol of those who would steal easter from us?"
Brandon is scheduled to live with his mom until he is 40, at which time he will become a serial killer who has sex with the dead bodies of his victims and then cleanses them by drinking their blood. In this picture we see how Brandon's mom controls his movements by sticking her arm up his ass. In 1976, She had her anus sewn shut as she believes defecating is immoral. We believe this is the reason she has shit for brains.
It's almost over! (And just as you were beginning to like it)
Sorry about the length of this rant. I have no place to vent now that I am out of the forum. I'm still not sure how to vent without starting a thread and using the quote button. Does anyone want to discuss the ridiculousness of the ubiquitous christian use of jeremiah 29:11? No? How about the fact that most stores will stock a video game that gives you points for shooting people in their car and then stealing it to run over pedestrians, but a game with nudity is just wrong. We can't have that in our store. Still no? Ok.
I will end this with a quote from a woman much wiser than I.
"I've concluded that certitude of rightness is the true evil which attacks harmony among humans." -Lady Pitchu
Posted at 12:37 am by elvenSarah
Friday, April 30, 2004
Driving below the speed limit prohibits defensive driving
Dog Dammit! I got pulled over again. This time since my registration sticker feel off my license plate. Now I get to take care of that as well as the speeding ticket I got. I feel that those who drive fast usually (certainly not always) are better drivers. They stay more alert, their brain is using beta waves, and they are aware of what is around them. People get tunnel vision staring at the car in front of them and usually start daydreaming.
My boss touched my ass today. I'm talking full cuppage on the lower-middle area. I'm pretty sure it was an accident (god I hope so) since I stopped walking and he was just behind me, but it made things awkward for the remainder of the day.
So I am working on saturday. At least I will get some hours in. I've been so busy I need to cut back on something and decide what is really important.
Posted at 04:42 pm by elvenSarah
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Through the looking glass: Morons and the Matrix
A Republican representative wants to get the state out of the "marriage" business and instead grant only "civil unions" to both gays and straights...
Thank you jebus! Finally a republican is making sense on this issue. If marriage is a religious institution that must be defined by the bible, why is it performed by the state to decide tax rights and many other issues?
Wash away your sins with this soap, bubble bath, lip balm, candle, or breath spray! Never has cleansing your sins been so easy or smell so good!
anti sin soap
Now you can spread lies with a clean mouth!
Discussion and helpful ideas for atheist parent.
Great bumper stickers
- Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up? -or-
Militant Agnostic: I don't know, and neither do you
Wow that was a lot of links. So anyway a friend recommending watching Equilibrium as it is supposed to be better than the matrix. I have heard the same of Dark City and Ghost in the Shell. Seen the latter.
A friend of mine asked me to add his site to my blog. It is a web page he created with hints to avoid spam, viruses and adware. It is aimed at the amateur computer user, but it has some good stuff so check it out! tips
I guess this is the first page of what will be a complete site of computer related guides, but I don't know.
Posted at 05:05 pm by elvenSarah
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
But first, check out these giant snails:
Test your knowledge!
WHO WAS HE?
-He was born of the virgin Maya, who was considered the "Queen of Heaven.
- He was of royal descent.
- He crushed a serpent's head.
- He performed miracles and wonders, healed the sick, fed 500 men from a "small basket of cakes," and walked on water.
- He abolished idolatry, was a "sower of the word," and preached "the establishment of a kingdom of righteousness."
- He taught chastity, temperance, tolerance, compassion, love, and the equality of all.
- He was transfigured on a mount.
- He was crucified in a sin-atonement, suffered for three days in hell, and was resurrected.
- He ascended to "heaven." HE WAS...BUDDHA
WHO WAS HE?
- He contributed the name of Jesus Christ. He and his once-and-future Father, are frequently interchangeable in the mythos ("I and my Father are one").
- He was born of the virgin Meri on December 25th in a cave/manger, with his birth being announced by a star in the East and attended by three wise men.
- He was a child teacher in the Temple and was baptized when he was 30 years old. He was also baptized by "Anup the Baptizer," who becomes "John the Baptist."
- He had 12 disciples.
- He performed miracles and raised one man, el-Azar-us, from the dead.
- He walked on water.
- He was transfigured on the Mount.
- He was crucified, buried in a tomb and resurrected.
- He was also the "Way, the Truth, the Light, the Messiah, God's Anointed Son, the Son of Man, the Good Shepherd, the Lamb of God, the Word" etc.
- He was "the Fisher," and was associated with the Lamb, Lion and Fish.
- His personal epithet was "Iusa," the "ever-becoming son" of "Ptah," the "Father."
- HE was called "the KRST," or "Anointed One," long before the Christians duplicated the story.
- In the catacombs at Rome are pictures of Him as a baby being held by his virgin mother. HE WAS... the Egyptian God HORUS
(The ancient Egyptians also adopted the cross as a religious symbol of their pagan gods. Countless Egyptians drawings depict themselves holding crosses in their hands. Among them, the Egyptian savior Horus is depicted holding a cross in his hand. He is also depicted as an infant sitting on his mother's knee with a cross on the seat they occupy. The most common of the crosses used by these pagan Egyptians, the crux ansata, was later adopted by the Christians)
WHO WAS HE?
- He was born on December 25th.
- He was considered a great traveling teacher and master.
- He had 12 companions or disciples.
- He performed miracles.
- He was buried in a tomb.
- After three days he rose again.
- His resurrection was celebrated every year.
- He was called "the Good Shepherd."
- He was considered "the Way, the Truth and the Light, the Redeemer, the Savior, the Messiah."
- He was identified with both the Lion and the Lamb.
- His sacred day was Sunday, "the Lord's Day," hundreds of years before the appearance of Christ.
- He had his principal festival on what was later to become Easter, at which time he was resurrected.
- His religion had a Eucharist or "Lord's Supper."HE WAS... MITHRA
("He who will not eat of my body and drink of my blood, so that he will be made on with me and I with him, the same shall not know salvation." An inscription to Mithras which parallels John 6:53-54. This inscription is inside the vatican... in the tomb of saint peter.)
WHO WAS HE?
- Born of a Virgin
- His father was a carpenter.
- His birth was attended by angels, wise men and shepherds, and he was presented with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
- He was persecuted by a tyrant who ordered the slaughter of thousands of infants.
- He was of royal descent.
- He was baptized in A river.
- He worked miracles and wonders.
- He raised the dead and healed lepers, the deaf and the blind.
- Krishna used parables to teach the people about charity and love.
- "He lived poor and he loved the poor."
- He was transfigured in front of his disciples.
- In some traditions he died on a tree or was crucified between two thieves.
- He rose from the dead and ascended to heaven.
- He is called the "Shepherd God" and "Lord of lords," and was considered "the Redeemer, Firstborn, Sin Bearer, Liberator, Universal Word."
- He is the second person of the Trinity, and proclaimed himself the "Resurrection" and the "way to the Father."
- He was considered the "Beginning, the Middle and the End," ("Alpha and Omega"), as well as being omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. - His disciples bestowed upon him the title "Jezeus," meaning "pure essence."
- He is to return to do battle with the "Prince of Evil," who will desolate the earthHE WAS... KRISHNA
(The similarities between the Christian character and the Indian messiah are many. Indeed, Massey finds over 100 similarities between the Hindu and Christian saviors, and Graves, who includes the various noncanonical gospels in his analysis, lists over 300 likenesses. It should be noted that a common earlier English spelling of Krishna was "Christna," which reveals its relation to '"Christ." It should also be noted that, like the Jewish godman, many people have believed in a historical, carnalized Krishna)
WHO WAS HE?
- God was his father
- He was born in a cave or cowshed.
- A human woman, a virgin, was his mother.
- His birth was prophesized by a star in the heavens.
- At a marriage ceremony, he performed the miracle of converting water into wine.
- He was powerless to perform miracles in his hometown.
- His followers were born-again through baptism in water.
- He rode triumphantly into a city on a donkey. Tradition records that the inhabitants waved palm leaves.
- He had 12 disciples.
- He was accused of licentious behavior.
- He was killed near the time of the Vernal Equinox, about MAR-21.
- He died "as a sacrifice for the sins of the world."
- He was hung on a tree, stake, or cross.
- After death, he descended into hell.
- On the third day after his death, he returned to life.
- The cave where he was laid was visited by three of his female followers.
- He later ascended to heaven.
- His titles: God made flesh. Savior of the world Son of God.
- He is "God made man," and equal to the Father.
- He will return in the last days.
- He will judge the human race at that time.
- Humans are separated from God by original sin. The godman's sacrificial death reunites the believer with God and atones for the original sin.HE WAS... OSIRIS-DIONYSUS
"Thus says Horus son of Isis: I have come to you, O Wennefer, and I bring Ani to you. His heart is true, having gone forth from the balance, and he has not sinned against any god or goddess. Thoth has judged him in writing which has been told to the Ennead, and Maat the great has witnessed. Let there be given to him [of my] bread and beer which have been issued in the presence of Osiris, and he will be forever like the Followers of Horus." [Papyrus of Ani Plate 4] 1500 B.C.E.
Posted at 04:03 pm by elvenSarah
Monday, April 26, 2004
Well my surgery had to be rescheduled since the oral surgeons office recorded the wrong kind of appt for me. Sew, now my schedule is all fuchsia-ed (skayrooyed) up and as usual I need sleep and that is keeping me from doing anything productive. Oh well. Here is a quote I came across today:
Something funny is happening on the way to the American forum: citizens are discovering they have an empire they never wanted--paid for in casualites, with civil liberties the first victim."
--Patirck Lloyd Hatcher, U.S. Army colonel (retired)
It is so hot I want to take my pants off. I think I will. Cali is just too hot. Must move to beach.
Posted at 12:22 pm by elvenSarah
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Turtles, pigs, and panties
I'm dead tired so I decided to take a little break and show off my cute turtles! I have a giant desert tortoise and a water turtle. The desert tortoise likes to chase around our little dogs (one dachshund and one mixed something) while the dogs chase the water turtle. (It isn't in the water all the time. Sometimes the tortoise will sneek up behind the dog and touch it on the back, sending the dog running away. I think it is looking for a mate, but I don't know. Sure is a funny food chain to watch though. It also scratches at the door to get in like a dog. Ahhhhh....so cute.
These are from last year just before hibernation. The bandage is for an injury caused by a large dog of the turtle's former owner. It looks a lot healthier now. The turtle is over a foot long and nearly 3/4 of a foot high. It will eat grapes your of your hand.
We just got the water turtle, and are not sure what it eats. We think it may have eaten some goldish in the water dish, but not sure. It has a tail like an alligator and looks a little like this:
The water turtle is very fast and likes to come out in the rain.
not some of the strangest shit you have ever seen? Elsie the Inflatable Cow, Luvin Lamb -White, and Alien Love Doll. WTF?
Oh the Japanese. Interesting nation indeed. Check out this
picture, confirming the fabled vending machines with used schoolgirl panties.
It's sunday. Remember to worship the sun god today. It faithfully rises in the east and goes west to the underworld each night, only to rise again.
Note: Yeah, I've now got two pages on this blog!
Posted at 01:14 pm by elvenSarah
Money; the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems (The Perils of work)
Time for the weekend update with Norm, err Sarah the Elven.
I'm turning into a zombie; a work zombie. Many people who work at a 8-5 office job are no longer alive. Their hearts are beating, but they are no longer experiencing life. The sit at their job a majority of their waking day, doing some redundant task that they do only because they need money to exist. They use this money to drive to work, buy food to exist, buy a tv since they are brain dead from working all day, pay medical bills, rent, etc. Basically they use the money to exist. Their free time consists of watching tv after work since they are too brain dead to do anything else. If not that it is doing maintanence tasks on their body, home, relationships, or other things they would rather not be doing. How many people stop on their way to work to kick back and enjoy the view of the mountains without worrying about being late (fired)? How many people hike through nature and take time to sketch a beautiful scene they see? How many people take time to learn new things everyday, outside of work, such as the history behind their religion? How many people enjoy their partners, enjoying learning to please them, enjoy holding them, enjoy the time they have to breath and exist? I don't want to spend the majority of my existance trapped in an office, doing redundant tasks, worrying about everything. I want an alternative.
There, that was my rant. Anyway I got to learn how to crimp cat5e unshielded twisted pair. That is the wire that connects computers into a network. I had never even seen it done before so I had to try to figure it out on my own when my client needed it done. I had no internet connection to research it, and it was a bit frustrating. First I tried stripping all the individual wires and trying to get them to stay in the end, but then I figured out that there is no way it would work. Finally I got a cable to work and was able to use it.
I worked about 10 hours this week, and all that money will go to paying for the speeding ticket I got on friday. That doesn't include my commute time, gas, food, etc. Ugh.
Has anyone heard the new song Game Over, by lil' flip? Are computer gaming nerds the model of hiphop music now? I've got nothing against them, and the song is a bit catchy, but it is very nerdy. I don't like nerdy rap. It is embarassing to be driving around town with the windows down and be blaring some remix from super mario brothers. Driving up next to an old man while some song is talking about fucking so many ho's, or a chick screming in exstacy isn't much better I admit. Let your pron be porn and your music be music.
Early monday morning I have the remainder of my wisdom teeth removed. That will keep me out a few days. Hope it goes well.
Now it's time for: Jack Handy's deep thought of the day.
Why do people eat fruit flavored ice creams such as peach or orange. I mean, if you are having a craving for fruit, wouldn't it be healther to eat a real fruit? When I eat ice cream I want to chocolate flavored with caramel and cookie dough. What's next, spinach ice cream?
Check out this cool ice sculpture from northern china:
Now for the day's comedy. I don't know who wrote this, but it is pretty funny.
How to be a modern republican
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. Today's blog spellchecked by: No One! Opps.
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
4. "Standing Tall" for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
Posted at 12:02 am by elvenSarah