Liv Tyler Arwen with gloves and sword
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I contend that we are both atheists, I just believe in one less god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods, then you will know why I dismiss yours. - Stephen F. Roberts

Any god who creates a sentient being out of dirt, knowing the being will be damned to hell, should have left the dirt alone. - unknown



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Sunday, April 18, 2004
Healing Sounds

I've been doing some meditation lately.  Nothing formal like tai chi, chai tea stuff (Though I would like to study that), more like stretches and deep breathing while listening to old world music.   (celtic, native american, shakuhachi, recorders, etc).  I had some great relaxing music that I found on kazaa*, but I lost it all to a hard drive crash.  I lost a lot to a hard drive crash slash backup deletion, but that is another story.  Anyway, while grabbing some possible meditative stuff, I ran across some music that is supposed to alter the frequency of your brainwaves.  Apparently the brain operates at set frequency ranges depending on the activity.  The higher ranges are known a beta, and are used for critical thinking and analysis.  Alpha brainwaves are a bit slower, more relaxed state, theta is nearly a trance state, such as when you begin to daydream while doing a redundant task.  Theta is known to be a state with high levels of creativity.  Delta is the lowest state and is deep trance and sleep.

I have been trying these out and meditating really does help, even if it is just stretching, clearing your mind, and listening to relaxing music.  Whiles listening to the theta music I have been finding something interesting.  Several years ago I noticed that when someone paid attention to me, was kind to me, took the time to quiz me on my spelling test, I would get a great feeling on parts of my head.  The feeling if localized.  So much so that I can almost point out a specific area about a inch or so wide in certain places that feel this way.  I was told it could be endorphins, but this seems to localized.  Back to the theta tapes, I have found that I can more easily reproduce this feeling while listening to them.  I'm not sure if it has something to do with the state of mind, or the 3d effects of the music or what, but it is a great feeling, and I want to do some more experimenting with it.  States of mind is a very interesting topic to me.

*My personal feelings about sharing music: If you find something you like, throw a couple bucks to the author and by the cd or go to a site selling the mp3 and buy the songs you like.

For your healing humour for the day try out the site bash.org.  Very funny chat logs from IRC.  Here is a sample:

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK


Nice eh?

P.S. I am hoping to find a better layout for this site, but I am just so busy or lazy or something.



Posted at 03:39 am by elvenSarah
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Saturday, April 10, 2004
working hard for the money

Over a week since my last update.  I have been extremely busy.  Something about this season does that.  I've been making some cash doing consulting for a company in dire need of computer repairs.  Everything computer related (networks, PCs, e-mails, servers) is a mess and has been without maintenance for too long.  When they have a serious problem, they call me in to put some band-aids on it.  I'm hoping they will eventually fund an entire overhaul of the system, but realistically I know they will just be applying more tournaquets to the wound for several years.  The pay is OK, but not great.  It is paying my bills though.  I still cannot wait until I am able to move full ahead on the adult websites.  I would much rather prefer to be making enough on that so I don't have to do all this other crap.


I will be going to an easter (christianized Ishtar celebrations) service this weekend.  I have actually not stopped going to church even though I am no longer a christian.  My parents are fanatical fundamentalists and I am still in the closet with them and in fact with all my family and many of my friends.  It is really tough, I'm not sure how much longer I can handle it.

For fun, try out the easter quiz by father dan  For more on this and similar topics I would recommend exchristian.net. 




Posted at 02:54 pm by elvenSarah
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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
The passion of merch

Well, as expected, the latest passion film has created a huge industry of people wanting to buy home versions of the torture devices found in the movie.  I've seen nails (Yes, nails),The Passion Pocket Pins & Coins, The Passion of the Christ Nail Pendant,Wall Plaque, books, tapes, Road to the Cross Desktop Art and the crown of thorns. 
crown of thorns and lillies
The description under this item is "
Consider this vivid, stark reminder of Christ's suffering."  Ain't it a cute little torture device with those flowers next to it?  I'm sorry, but when you love someone, I just find it odd to purchase minature versions of the device used to kill them and then putting it up in your house or around your neck.  Isn't it better to remember the teachings of christ and have morals based on what is right, instead of, well that must have hurt a lot, we should follow him.  Which is more important, a day of pain, or a life of moral teachings?  Maybe if I feel bad enough about what happened, then that will make me a good christian and god will let me in heaven?  Some lunatic is going to wear this thing to try to appease god.  It will happen.  Probably already has.

Religion seems to be fascinated by pain.  Through pain we can cleanse the evil from our body.  It is a purchased ticket to a clean concious.  If god is all powerful, it can set any rules it wants.  According to the common christian cannon, the rules it decided to set is that it must have a human version of itself be tortured to death in order to create a gateway to heaven and allow itself to forgive us.  That is some twisted stuff.

Off Topic: So what is this I am hearing about "Operation Desert Badger"?  WTF is that?

Well I think I will go listen to a little bit less bloody merch; the album from Moulin Rouge.  That should get me back into a lighter mood.

Posted at 07:15 pm by elvenSarah
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Monday, March 29, 2004
affiliation

I signed up with several adult themed companies that I want to work with.  The list is over three pages long.  I've heard back from most of them so the next step is to begin the promotion.  That means building the sites, placing the appropriate content on it, using reciprocal links to other sites to get traffic, signing up with search engines, site lists, thumb nail gallery posts, etc.  I have a couple free hosts right now.  Some allow any content, but have banners.  The bannerless sites only allow their sites to be promoted.  When I get a bit further in to this I will purchase my own domain and hosting so I can do whatever I want with it.


Here is a thought to ponder.  Should I put pictures of me on some of my sites?  It's free content and might be fun.  I don't have some amazing body, but I have seen worse in porn.  The only thing that bothers me is if someone I know recognizes me.  That is just strange.  Most of my family is extremely conservative.  Drinking wine is evil to them.  I would probably be kicked out of the family, but only after enduring a lot of crazy yelling and phone calls.  More likely though no one would admit to seeing them, and would just think I am some whore.  Hmmmm....What would Cthulhu do? cthulhu fish



Once I get a list of the sites up, I will probably post a beta for everyone to see.  Keep in mind that I am no HTML goddess yet.

Well I need to get my lazy butt in gear and go to the gym for the first time since the surgery.



Site exchange for the day:
WIL WHEATON DOT NETRemember Wesley Crusher from Star Trek the Next Generation?  Check out the blog of the man behind the boy. 
obey wil

Posted at 07:02 pm by elvenSarah
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Friday, March 26, 2004
rendezvous

It's friday!  Tonight I'm going to party with a friend of mine that is in town for spring break.  Should be fun.  Tommorow will be my day for stuff such as laundry and, hopefully, working on my porn sites.  We shall see.

I added a new clique, tealicious.  Tea roxors my sockors.  I think I will go get some.

Thank Zeus for dictionary.com.  I can't spell worth crawp.




Current mood: horny

Posted at 02:26 pm by elvenSarah
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Sunday, March 21, 2004
Computers

How embarrassing.  I have a toolbar installed in internet explorer and I can't figure out how to uninstall it!  I'm a computer science major for gate's sake.  Anyone know how to get rid of isearch toolbar.  I really don't want to try to find all the keys for it in the registry.  I hate adware/spyware.  I will not be putting any on my websites.  It seriously should be illegal.  They are modifying my computer, tracking my usage, taking my bandwidth, my time, making my computer unstable.  UGH!

spam


Anyway I think I need to run defrag.  I haven't done that in ages.  I'm not even sure if I have done it since I last reformatted and installed dildos xp.  Well that is my rant on my love hate relationship with computers.

My jaw is hurting again.  Maybe I should take some meds.  I have a lot of work to do monday.

Posted at 02:27 pm by elvenSarah
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Saturday, March 20, 2004
I'm Back!

Hello everyone!  I am currently recovering from having my wisdom teeth removed.  It wasn't too bad.  The teeth on the top were in my sinus cavity though, so that is causing some problems.  Other than that I am one fine girl who is just a bit whoozie from the meds they gave me. 

Check out my link Let Love Rule

Have a great day.

Posted at 04:06 pm by elvenSarah
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
busy bee

Ugh, I have been so busy these last couple days.  I didn't have any time to work on my site at all.  I'm having my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, so that will keep me out for a while.  Hopefully I can get after it soon.

No drinking green beer for me today :(  Got to get some sleep.

Posted at 08:06 pm by elvenSarah
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Sunday, March 14, 2004
The Simpletons

Ugh, I just realized that it is 8:15!  I guess I missed my favorite show, the simpsons.  I will have to download it now.  Bit torrent is my friend at the moment.

Cali is starting to warm up for spring.  I'm not used to the heat yet.  Over 80 degrees here and I am all sticky and hot.  Stupid dorm room is always hot.  No air conditioner.  I can't wait to get my own place.  Once my pron site takes off, I hope to have some more money.  I have a feeling I am going to sound all bitchy in this blog.  :)

P.S.  I'm still working on the colors and phonts on this thing to make it readable.  Let me know how these entries looks.  Kisses,

me.

Posted at 08:20 pm by elvenSarah
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First

Well I've decided to start a Blog.  Don't worry guys, it won't ALL be me writing about my vagina, though I know some of you would like that.  :) 

As you can read from my profile, I am making my own pron (Ooops I mean porn) web site.  I plan to post my progress in this blog and let everyone know how I am doing.  I am very busy though as I am a student and trying to get this site together.

Let me know what you think!  :)

Current mood:  Hot, tired, and hungry.  Mmmmm....chicken
Current Music:  Too hot for headphones


Posted at 08:13 pm by elvenSarah
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Previous Page
I'm a computer engineer for a well known corporation, but my hobby is debunking myths and exploring the human mind. I'm a former fanatical christian. In this blog I expose the foolishness of many of the traditions and ideologies of Americans and humans in general. Oh, and yes, I still have my pointy ears. :)
   

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